These are not prescriptive. These are written to myself.

I hate giving advice.

I’m hardly qualified to tell anybody how to live, or what to believe. Everybody has a different definition of a good life – and I don’t think anybody should sit there going: “wow, how do I become more like Chad?!”

But I wanted to share 40 things that are on my mind after 40 spins around the sun. Some are daily values. Some are just thoughts. Some are aspirations. Some are things that keep me up at night. But it might be worth sharing, because I’m really enjoying life:

– I’m happy.
– I love my career.
– I love my hobbies.
– I have awesome friends.
– And I have the coolest family.

Life is good! 

So this document is mostly… talking to myself and scribbling out the thoughts that have shaped where I’m at today. It’s intended for a moment of pause. Feel free to think about it and apply in your own way, maybe. Or just to get to know me a little bit better. But it’s not meant to be instructional. 

Toss some of the things in the trash if you want. Grab onto one if it adds value. You’ll disagree with some things. And in a few years, I’ll probably disagree with some things. I don’t think that my perspective today should be yours today. 

It’s just… where I’m at.

Hopefully there’s something helpful or thought-provoking.

Mentality // 10 Things

Prioritize Happiness
It’s hard to figure out what you want to do, who you want to do it with, and the difference between what matters and what doesn’t. It’s hard to balance long-term goals, short term sacrifice, and enjoying each day. The simplest thing I’ve learned is to push for tomorrow, but never at the expense of today. Outside of tragedy or significant transitions, if you aren’t happy today then dig in and figure things out. Too many people chase long-term goals only to achieve them and feel empty. The chase is pointless if you aren’t going to be happy at the destination – and, usually, the destination is right in front of us.

Stay Centered 
It’s so easy to get worked up about failure and setbacks. But it’s part of the journey — and most of our lows are better than many people’s highs (especially in the perspective of thousands of years). We have it pretty damned good. Shelter, water, electricity. Yeah, it sucks when shit goes sideways, and it often requires an uncomfortable change or reaction. But… chill. Put it into perspective, don’t let it throw you off-center. Do your best and worry about the next step, not the previous one.

Take A Deep Breath
People count on you — and that pressure can add up. At home, at work, and beyond. When you always need to be on, it’s sometimes hard to find the right moments to ‘turn off’ — but you need to find them. A walk in the evening. A run on the weekend. A deep breath before you get out of the car. A weekend around the campfire. Lay in the hammock. Grab a drink and watch YouTube until 2AM. Whatever. Realize when you need a breath, and take it.

Consistency Daily Decisions
Any problem can be solved with consistent decisions. Want to learn an instrument? Practice daily. Want to lose weight? Eat better daily. Want to become a better writer? Write daily. You’ll still struggle at times, but this isn’t about judging yourself or lamenting failure. It’s about the next day, and the next step. One step at a time. 

Find Your Tribe
There’s a lot of ways to live your life. And it’s easy to get lost in groups that don’t feel right. Don’t demonize other groups, and don’t act like one is better than another… but find the one that fits you. Find your tribe. Find your rituals. Surround yourself with people who make it easier to be who you want to be.

Explore
Don’t be afraid of new experiences. Be safe, no doubt, but not so safe to never challenge your beliefs. Go skydiving. Live in another country for a bit. Be a minority. Eat new food. Get high. Read a book from another perspective. Debate freely — with conviction as well as openness. Experience other perspectives and embrace the discomfort of not having all the answers.

Self-Correct
We all have peak moments. We also all have valleys. Mental ruts. Physical setbacks. Or things beyond our control. Sometimes that rut can go weeks, months, or years. Ruts are fine, but it’s important to be self-aware — if you’re okay staying in the rut, stay in it. But if you’re not, then take moments to consider what you’d prefer — and give yourself space to make those decisions. The habits you set can live with you for years. If they’re not the habits you want, then self-correct. Set new goals. Make commitments to yourself. Even small adjustments every year can add up to a significantly better mindset and well-being.

Moments & Monuments
Be protective of the moments you turn into monuments in your life. Don’t get so busy carrying trophies that you stop dreaming about what’s next. And don’t turn moments of disappointment into massive walls, never to be approached or climbed across again. Your best moments are still to come. Keep pushing.

Don’t Make The Easy Part Hard
Show up on time, do what you say you’re going to do, or when you can’t… tell somebody. Apologize. See other people’s perspectives. Do the dishes. Fold the laundry. Say thank you. Be nice. Wave. Congratulate others on their highlights. Ask questions. Turn caring into a habit and you’ve solved a lot of things in life.

Live Your Values
You only truly BELIEVE something if your daily actions and lifelong actions follow suit. 

Do you want a happy marriage? Do you want to be a good dad? Do you want to be a good leader? Do you want to live a healthy life? Do you consider yourself a lifelong learner? 

Do your actions each day, or week, or month, or year contribute towards those beliefs? 

Business // 10 Things

Follow Good Leaders
The best military men in the world were only successful when led by the best strategy. The best athletes in the world are only successful with a great coach. The best nurses are only as successful as their regional managers, unit managers, technology, and processes. For anybody starting in their careers: connect yourself to good leaders. They’ll maximize your impact. (Also, good leaders build good teams. And it’s super fun being on a good team!)

Split Testing Is Dumb
Everyone wants ‘something else’ to guide the way. Run a survey. Collect more data. Crowdsource it. Stare at the analytics. Hire a consultant. Run a split test.

But there’s nothing more valuable in marketing than having taste and conviction — knowing what you want to create and creating it, and crafting each detail to be as good as you’d imagined. Want to add value? Do that. Build value. Make something cool. Don’t compromise.

Split-testing is still a tool. There are many subjective preferences between any one thing and another – food, wine, art… or ads, landing pages, and offers. And subjective preferences will stack into objective improvements. So, use split-testing to move beyond your own biases. Ask people what they prefer. They’ll tell you – and you’ll make better decisions.

But… the most important things in life still can’t be split-tested.

You can’t compare two alternate worlds through, far enough, to have enough insights. This product or that? This ad campaign or that? This marketing slogan or that? Split-testing can give you glimpses into how something is received, but you’ll never know the outcomes of the many variables unless you let them play out. A split-test can’t tell you what will truly win over the long haul. How does the broader market receive it? Once users start using it, what ideas come next? What endorsements does one product earn over the other after it has delivered a transformation? Is cheap and mediocre better than expensive and clever? Everybody wants to know the safe decision: but you won’t know. 

Split testing gives you an inch of insights when you want to run a mile. It’s still important, but it’s like the tale of The Farmer & The Horse: Split-testing should come with a maybe mindset. 

There’s more data, for sure. There are insights, for sure. But I hate the idea of staring at two options and facing analysis paralysis. We need more numbers! Standing there frozen. If your options are close – just commit. Make a decision, any decision, and then make it right with your actions that follow… rather than thinking the decision is what’s most important.

Just Make A Decision
Some people carry burdens because:

1. They can’t make a decision.
2. Or after they do, they dwell on the outcome forever.

If you’re staring at a small decision and it could go either way, just make a call. You’ll make lots of wrong decisions, but decisions are just reps. And your brain needs reps. Making 5 right decisions and 5 wrong decisions = better than making 0 decisions. And the more you make, the better you’ll make’em.

The Enemy Of Progress
Perfection is the enemy of progress. Don’t strive to be perfect. Taste has nothing to do with production cost – it’s about knowing the essence of what makes something valuable. The idea. The hook. The emotion. The attention to detail. Why something is better. Publishing will outpace perfection every time.

Do The Hard Things
A quick mental-shortcut for taking on new projects:

Would I be upset if the competition did this first?

If they made that YouTube video? If they built that course? If they landed that artist? If they locked-in that partnership? If they built that feature? If they solved that problem? If they made that offer, ad, or promotion?

If you hope the competition doesn’t do it… then you should.

Do, Defer, Delegate, Delete
Don’t let things sit on your mind forever. Categorize tasks into four distinct actions – and make an immediate decision so it doesn’t stack up.

Do = Respond to the request. Do the thing.

Defer = Commit to a later time. Set a reminder. Say “I’ll get this to you by Friday.”

Delegate = Make it somebody else’s task – especially if they’re better at it.

Delete = Say no. Skip the non-essential things.

I know… simple task management. But it’s a good way to let your mind breathe.

Books & People
My grandpa Leonard Kettner was one of the most impactful people I’ve ever known. He worked hard, he lived to his values, and as a sawmill millwright and plant manager he was able to guide many people in their lives and careers. And he shared this timeless advice: “In 10 years, you’ll be the same person as you are today except for the books you read and the people you meet, so do plenty of both.”

Do What You Say You’ll Do
The simplest way to build trust in any business:

1. Show up on time.
2. Do what you say you’re going to do.
3. If either aren’t possible, tell people before you miss those expectations.

Like they say in sports: the best ability is availability. Your skills and talent can shine later, but it starts with showing up.

Don’t Take Things Too Seriously
We push pretty hard at Musora. We’re competitive, growing, and always striving for a bigger future. But sometimes that can cause tension, or stress. And we really are making the world a better place by inspiring hobbies, musicianship, and creativity. We take it seriously – and our responsibility seriously – but … every once in a while it’s important to remind ourselves: we’re offering music lessons.

This isn’t an emergency room. It’s not mission-critical for health, safety, or anything else at the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. So… put things into context. The thing you’re all worked up about right now is more important now, when you’re all worked up about it, than it’ll probably ever be again in the future.

Build Better Things
Only launch things you love. If you don’t love it – fix it or ditch it.

Solve problems, make somebody smile, build things that people consume now + save for later. They should want to tell their friends.

Mortality // 10 Things

On God
I’d call myself an agnostic atheist, because I don’t think there’s a god, but I don’t know. I’m not saying there isn’t a god, just… I don’t get it. I don’t see the reasons or evidence to believe. I think the world makes more sense without the theistic story of god. If you want to call the universe and existence so magical that it requires a god – then I’ll meet you half way and consider deism. I do think it’s magical. I can’t explain it. I agree there’s so much beyond my knowledge and understanding. I call that “I don’t know”. If you’d rather label it “god”, that’s fine. But I haven’t found one that wants a personal relationship with me.

On Eternal Life
I wish for an afterlife. I hope my eyes don’t close and my existence is gone for eternity. The thought haunts me. I love life. I want to be here forever. I want to be deserving of whatever heaven is out there. But, I don’t think it’s there. I don’t think my childhood pets, or my great-great-great grandparents, are somewhere thinking about the good ‘ol days on earth, or looking down to see what’s going on. Or sleeping, waiting for heaven’s trumpet call. I think when I die that I’ll be gone.

On Reincarnation
They say energy is never destroyed. And so, where does our energy go after death? I think it just… goes into its environment – maybe, to one day fuel another living organism, but not in the way that I’d ever experience that energy again. Some people suggest reincarnation. But I don’t recall my past lives, so even if I did re-incarnate – it might as well be the birth of another life, rather than a re-birth of my own. With no meaningful memory, or continuity between lives – what does it matter? I’d still be gone, long gone. At least what I consider “I”. 

On Faith
I love faith. Faith for the future. Faithfulness to a cause. Commitment beyond what makes sense. Hebrews 11:1 says that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. In the sense of trust, belief, and hope – faith is a beautiful thing.

But as a prerequisite for salvation – if you don’t believe in this specific definition of god being the true one that exists then you’re not allowed into the afterlife – nah. Save it. Any moral god would judge character over belief, especially if the biology they gave me is the thing preventing belief.

Free Will Breaks My Brain
I started with a brain and body that I didn’t choose. A brain reacting to its environment. But the choices I make, that my brain makes, feel fully within my control anyways. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Free will vs. the illusion of free will. A brain I didn’t choose, or… I’m just that brain? I don’t understand how there’s any possibility of free will without the freedom to control how we choose. A brain with a tumor pressing on it will make different decisions. So, do we have control? Who knows… but my mind can think about free will for hours and never really understand it, or even why it matters. In all practicality, it doesn’t.

What If Nobody Told Me?
I often wondered what my religious default would be if I wasn’t raised with prayer each night, being told we love Jesus even more than mommy or daddy, or looking into the sky awaiting the Second Coming. Would I have a cross-shaped hole in my heart? Would I stare into the sky thinking about a creator? Would I think the thunderstorm happened because I wasn’t good that day? What if nobody told me? And then I watch my kids raised without those beliefs – without the default of worshipping a God. Yes, they had questions about the first baby, or the first year. But nothing that went beyond a discussion with some wonder and an admission of “I don’t know”. There was no further pressing or need. And who knows, maybe that will change as the years continue on. Maybe they’ll need an answer, or something to believe? I don’t know. And I guess it doesn’t answer my question, anyways.

On 40
This birthday has hit me hard. I started this document months ago and everything was GREAT. Haha. I mean, it still is. But damn, the last two months and the idea of turning 40 has got me in my head on my life’s purpose and impact. There’ll be a day I no longer breathe – so, what did I do? I know the thing that matters most is my family, my loved ones, and my impact on the lives around me. Deep impact > broad & shallow. Push for a positive ripple effect … it might seem like a drop in an ocean, but every ripple matters.

A Better Horse
For years, I’ve said I want a Corvette by the time I’m 40. And I’ve found myself going between a 1996 C4, to a 2003 C5, to a brand new one that’s built like a supercar. As age 39 passed by – I’ve changed my deadline to when I’m 40… like, anytime in the year before I’m 41. But here’s the thing: I might get one, I might not. I want one, but it never goes to the top of the list. I don’t know how to explain it. I guess, at the end of the day, I feel like nobody’s dying wish was to have a faster horse.

It’s Been Great
I hate thinking about death. About non-existence. And the idea of never breathing or sensing again. Hate it. But I’m at peace with it. My life has been filled beyond the brim of expectation. I love my family. I love my wife. I love my kids. I love my friends. And I love how I’ve enjoyed my days. It’s been wonderful – and I hope it continues for years to come. But if it ends, and if this is it, then this is it. And it’s been great. I’m so thankful to have been here. And however the story ends, it was a happy story.

Have Fun
Stop overthinking things. Go have fun.

Mentality // 10 More Things

You Are Where You Should Be
Golfers are always upset when they mis-hit. Sometimes even get upset when they do a great shot but not perfect. But there’s a mantra in casual golf: you’re not good enough to be mad. And it carries into anything else, too. And it’s okay to get emotional. We all want to be better. But in most things: you are where you should be – based on the quality of your practice, your attention to detail, and your persistence to make improvements.

Moments Of Rebirth
We’re all afraid of setbacks — and we protect ourselves against risk at all costs. But moments of rebirth are valuable. Moments of rock bottom can turn into the best foundations. A change of views. A mistake that makes you look in the mirror and want to be a better person. Or a new challenge that makes you wonder if you’ve made the right decision. “Why am I here?” “What am I doing?” Moments of rebirth can take many shapes – good moments or bad moments – but they force us to take action. I still remember listening to Switchfoot at my lowest: I dare you to move, I dare you to move, I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor.

Everybody Needs A Third Place
Place 1: home.
Place 2: work.
Place 3: the extra place. 

In sociology, third places are considered vital for community development — such as churches, stadiums, concert venues, and beyond. A third place, in that sense, is as an extra meeting place for relationships and connection.

But I like seeing a third place as a personal environment — somewhere that’s totally yours to enjoy. A place where you get lost, and a place that has no expectations beyond your own. The place where you could win or fail and it doesn’t matter because the process was the joy. It can be frustrating or exciting or demanding or relaxing… it doesn’t really matter other than it’s yours. 

Maybe it’s writing in the forest. Maybe it’s jamming with friends. For me, over the years, it’s been writing, basketball, snowboarding, golf, rock climbing, and hockey at different times. I guess all I’m saying: don’t get so damned busy that you don’t have things you love to fill in the empty spaces. Somewhere just for you.

Make Space
Make space for the people you love. Time in the evenings. Time in the mornings. A phone call on the drive to work. A dinner, or a weekend visit. More than that: mental space so you can actually be present. I mess this up all the time… but there’s no point being around if you’re not going to participate.

10 Years From Now
I remember the first test I failed in middle school. Ugh. What a horrible feeling. I remember telling myself: In 10 years this won’t matter. And it didn’t. A social studies test from grade 6 didn’t matter when I was 21.

But something does matter – how you react.

Play Hockey
I love hockey. I love the competition, physicality, strategy, creativity, and camraderie. It’s the perfect combination of a team sport and individual execution. I wake up early every Friday and hit the ice at 6:30AM — and play league hockey games that’ll often start after 10PM.

But I’m not telling you to play hockey. I’m just telling you to find something that you love that much. There are a million great hobbies and communities out there. Find one that you love.

Admit Your Mistakes
We all make them. Just acknowledge them. Even to your kids. Even if it’s complex. You’ll show more character by explaining your vulnerabilities and errors than pretending you’re always right.

Act Stupid
Play in the rain, run in the snow, have dance parties before bed, go camping in -30, get drunk and stay up way too late with friends. Lean into the moments that aren’t meant to be normal – they’re often the ones you’ll remember forever.

Be Grateful
The sick want health. The lonely want love. The driven want opportunity. And the wealthy want time. We all want more, all the time. But this is pretty good, right?

Love
Love only matters if it’s there for the ups and downs. The highs and the lows. The confetti in the air to celebrate and the shared tears and fears in the challenges. I don’t know if I have a lot of insights about how to be a great partner. Every relationship is different. But I think most of it comes down to consistent action. Think of each other. Chip in. Hug every day. Uplift each other. Hug again. You don’t get that much time on earth — spend it with someone you love, and start that experience by being the partner that they deserve.